Is It Too Much To Ask?

I saw you today.
And I know you saw me too.
The look on your face told me you did.
I walked right by you, you could have reached out your arm and touched me.
No one was with you, you weren't busy.
You didn't say hi.
You didn't even smile.
Didn't even knowledge me. 
I guess I should have expected that since it's been this long.
But don't worry Momma I'll be just fine.

Athena > Leaves

"I feel like if you did that, I'd die."
I couldn't do that even if I tried.
I have tried.
And look where I'm at.
Look where we're at.
You think I can.
But you say you can't?
It's not much different.
You know I can't.
Stop telling me I could.
Being so open with things scares me.
But in a good way.
People doubt you but I don't.
Things are just so complicated.
"But you'd be there."
I like this. This is nice.
"I'd eat salad in captivity just to see you everyday."
Oh you're a crazy one.

Many Things

I have so many things I could be blogging about right now.
But I just don't know where to start.
I have a lot of things to say.
But I don't know how to say them.
I've had it with people being selfish.
Do they ever stop and think about others?
Truly think about others?
She could have called.
It's been exactly 17 days since I've talked to you and 8 days since I found out.
And you, you really don't know, so please don't act like you do.
I wish I could stop the world.
I wanna get off.
Let's go to the moon.

What Do We Do Now?

You came home today, I stayed up all night just waiting for you to return.
I was hoping we could stay home all day and just catch up, the three of us.
I wasn't expecting you to tell me she stayed.
You said she was just confused about things and she'd be home soon.
Told me I was too old to not understand.
Am I too old to be upset too?
Do I not get to be hurt by this?
Just because I'm an adult does this mean that I'm not longer affected?
Can I no longer feel rejected? Abandoned? Alone?
What about not good enough?
Cause I feel that way right now.
You didn't even try to see how I felt.
I guess it's not your fault, I mean you must feel bad too.
But that's your job, you're supposed to make sure I'm okay.
You're supposed to look after me.
When did the roles get switched?
Sometimes I feel like you don't really see me for me.
You just see me as you want to see me.
Do you think I don't feel things? Do you think I'm above acting this way?
I'd never thought things would turn up this way.
I don't think you did either.

Pills, Pills, and More Pills.

I finally slept for more than two hours yesterday.
Actually I slept the entire night as well.
I guess that's what happens when you take Benadryl.
It felt good to sleep.
I didn't even have a panic attack when I woke up around eleven last night.
Then again I loved the reason that woke me up.
But I fell back to sleep a couple hours afterwards.
And this morning I was fine.
Maybe I'm making progress without having to talk to anyone about it.
Or maybe it's just the pills.
Which that gets me thinking.
Maybe I should starting taking pills to sleep, It would allow me to sleep and people would finally leave me alone about my lack of sleeping habits.
I don't want to take them though.
That's the problem.
I feel like if I do, it's like admitting I have a problem with this.
It's not really a problem, right?
I mean it's only sleep.

"Look at you, you're all smiles"

I enjoyed our talk tonight.

You should meet my butterflies more often.

The things you say drive me crazy, I'm pretty sure you do it on purpose.

Don't worry, I don't mind.

Thank you, again.

I enjoy it very much. 

But now I owe you something.

I don't mind that either. 

Clue on the piano sometime. 

Picture Perfect

You can't actually think anyone believes a word you say.
Sitting there like the picture perfect family.
Not a care in the world.
No one really buys that.
Can't you tell you're just making fools out of yourselves?
What's more important to you?
Appearance and the money?
There's enough of that for both of you to be fine on your own.
Do you really care what others would say that much?
You're so caught up in your own petty fights that you don't notice what's going on around you.
It's nothing but bullshit.

Stolen

That didn't count.
I can't count.
I feel sick.