Somniphobia

I have developed this fear of sleeping.

I don't quite remember the exact moment where I developed this fear but it's been there for a while.

Maybe it was before the Greece? Or after? Maybe I've had it all my life but I haven't been able to remember? 

I don't really know.

Then again there's isn't much I do know these days. 

It's not really a fear of sleeping or not waking up.

It's more of the fear of people going on with their lives while I sleep.

I guess I don't want to get left behind...

But this fear makes me sleep during the day, when everyone is up, living their lives.

I hardly sleep for more than three hours at a time.

And when I do I go into full panic attacks.

Maybe I should speak to someone about this.

I really don't want to.

I think I'll just keep doing what I do now.

And that's staying up all night watching films in Black and White.

They make me feel better. 

Like if I have a few years to sleep off before the people on screen catch up.